Memory Eternal

Life is incredibly short. This is especially put into perspective when someone you love dies. Fourty days ago my younger brother's Godfather, Fr. Seraphim, "passed into Eternity", as my grandfather so eloquently stated in his email telling us what happened. It was rather unexpected. He had some health problems before, but was improving from his last stay in the hospital, and was at home when it happened.

It was Monday afternoon about 2:23pm and I was conversing with my roommate about what seems now to be silly complaints, when I logged onto my email account. I had a few emails, but nothing worth opening at the moment. At the top I had a forward from my grandfather, so when I glanced back down and saw his name again, I first thought nothing new had popped up, but then I looked back because something seemed different. I stopped mid-sentence because I saw the subject line "Fr. Seraphim's passing into Eternity". I quickly opened the email and read it, not speaking a word until I knew that I wasn't just reading it wrong, or misunderstanding his email. My roommate kept asking what was wrong, what happened. Finally I found my voice and squeaked as I began to cry, "Fr. Seraphim has died." Now, I'm not one for crying around other people. I don't like making them uncomfortable, but I couldn't help myself. I realized that I was the first person in my family to know because I happened to be online when Granddad sent the email. Of all the thoughts swirling in my mind in that moment, one stood out: I have to call Mom. I frantically grabbed my phone and called the house. I didn't want my little brother to answer because I didn't want to tell him this way. I wanted my parents to tell him. Thankfully, my mom answered. Crying into the phone, I asked her if she had seen Granddaddy's email yet, and proceeded to tell her what it said.

After hanging up, my roommate sweetly hugged me, and we talked a little about it. I kept thinking what should I do? I can't sit around and cry all day, or all week. I can't be idle in my sorrow. But what is there to do? I've known many people who have died, but all of those were not wholly unexpected, or it was people to whom I was not particularly close. I've known the Scheidlers since I was 3 or 4. They have been some of the most gracious, kind people I have ever met. They have truly blessed my life, and everyone around them. They sent my brothers and I birthday cards, and Christmas gifts, and gave us candy at Pascha. They are the sweetest people.

The funeral was such a testament to their kindness and generosity. St. Ignatius was completely full. My family and I arrived early to see the Scheidlers. The church was dark at first, dimly lit was a modest wood coffin where Fr. Seraphim lay inside dressed in his vestments with a cloth over his face. The funeral was beautiful. There were 6 priests serving and 5 deacons serving, and 4 deacons that did the readings. I cried for part of it, but not all of it. I was glad to see his family. I was glad to see much of my family. I was thankful to be there and to have known him for so many years.

At Fr. Seraphim's death I feel hopeful. I feel blessed, I feel joy that he is with the Lord. I feel grateful that he was a part of my life, but most of all I feel sad. I keep thinking what a devastating loss this is to us on Earth, but what a magnificent addition to the Kingdom of God.