Friendship Dance

So I've been dancing around this topic for a few days now, trying to decide how to write about my experience the other morning when I went to a "friendship dance" at the ESY (Extended School Year) for kids with Autism and Asperger's. What I've been struggling with most while trying to write is how to tell my story without boasting about what I did. So here it goes, I'm finally giving it a shot. I guess we'll just have to see how this turns out.

First, a little background. My mom is a special education teacher at one of the county high schools and every summer since we moved to Chattanooga she had taught at ESY Autism and Asperger's. Each summer they have a "friendship dance" where the kids, who are middle school and high school aged, are encouraged to socialize and interact with new people. And since most of the students are boys, the teachers try to get more girls to come, which is helpful for the students to talk to new people and learn how to deal with new situations. I went a couple years ago, but for some reason this time seemed more rewarding personally and had more of an impact on me.

Now let me also say that I was not looking forward to waking up somewhat early to go dance awkwardly for an hour and a half. But my mom asked me to come and I certainly wasn't going to say no. It wasn't that I didn't want to go, but I just didn't want to wake up early. I'm not a morning person in any way and I loathe waking up before 10:00am. But I made myself get up a little before 8 and get ready to be at the school by 9am. When I arrived my mom came out to meet me in the parking lot and I followed her to her classroom where she introduced me to all the students before I went to the cafeteria and waited on everyone to arrive.

I have to admit Autism is very interesting to me because of how varied the symptoms are. Some of the kids were more talkative, some hardly spoke. Some were excited to dance, while other were nervous or even distraught by the idea. Some danced quite well and knew most of the songs, while others seemed more awkward and less connected to their surroundings. It was interesting to see how everyone was so different. During the first few songs I was "dancing" (and by that I mean kind of swaying back forth) near my mom and she pointed out a boy named Michael to me and asked if I would go ask him to dance. She said he be very polite, but probably say no. She said she wanted me to ask him anyway so he could have some interaction. I guess he was very shy and no one was very confident that he would dance at all. So a few songs later, she motioned towards him with her head and I walked over and asked if he would like to dance. "Um, no thank you, but you can ask me later," was his very polite answer.

Eventually the teachers formed a soul train line and got everyone up to dance. Even Michael went through a couple times. Afterwards he was standing nearby when I was dancing with another student so I told him to join us. He walked over and began dancing with us. I made eye contact with my mom and smiled. A few more songs played and I sat down beside him at a table. Then I said, "Well, you said I could ask you later, and now it's later. Would you like to dance?" Michael Jackson's thriller was playing so we talked a little about the steps to the dance for Thriller and then we got up and joined my mom for the rest of the song. And for the next 3 or 4 songs he stayed and danced with me. He was such a sweet kid, it was joy to talk with him and play air guitar, which was his favorite move. After the dance ended I said my goodbyes and went home. After I got home my mom called me and told me Michael told her he had a really good time. He said to thank me three times because I really boosted his confidence. I was really touched. I was definitely tearing up on my drive home even before I heard this. I was amazed at how wonderfully sweet Michael is and was to me. I always think of these kids as needing special attention and help and how much we can help them, but when I spent time with him, I was taken aback by how much he gave to me in return. He feels like I boosted his confidence, and I feel like he boosted mine. He helped me find that person inside of me that can be good to anyone and everyone, that person who gets lost throughout my daily life that I fill with stressful moments and complaining because someone in the car in front of me isn't going fast enough. It had been awhile since someone really brought that person back to me, and I'm so grateful to Michael for bringing that out of me. Really all the kids reminded me that I need to hold onto to that better person that I know I can be, and that I should remember that more often, and be that person even when I don't want to.