Becoming a Writer

So I just watched a Lifetime movie (and I'm not ashamed at all) about the life of J.K. Rowling and her long journey towards becoming a published writer, and might I add an incredibly successful published writer. It was an adorable movie that brought out all my feelings about the one thing I want to do in my lifetime. Be a writer. No, no, that's not it. Be a published writer. Every moment of every day I am, I guess I would say, "narrating" everything that is happening around me, as if I was writing a book. I create stories in my head of why things are happening or why people do what they do. Someone flicking a cigarette on the ground becomes a tale of why they began smoking, and what happens to that cigarette butt after they've flicked it out of their hands, who passes by it, steps on it, etc. A boy and a girl walking down the street becomes a story of their relationship, how they met, how they feel about each other, and whether they'll end up estranged from one another, married, or maybe, if I'm in a tragedy mood, how one of them will die young. I even have a scene in my head, that I should probably write down somewhere (even though it's a rough sketch) about a young woman playing with her baby, except she's crying because something horrible has happened to the man she loves.

Even just now I looked down at my snoring, sleeping dog, and watching her I began to formulate a story about a girl who's closest companion is her dog and they'll have wonderful adventures. And that's where my problem begins. I think of a story and the moment I try to come up with all the details it scatters and becomes so jumbled in my thoughts that I can hardly begin to write it.

I think of all the great authors I love, J.K. Rowling, J.R.R. Tolkien, C.S. Lewis (ha, I could be C.S. Herron), Jane Austen (and of course the list goes on and on), and I want so badly to be able to do what they did. To write wonderful stories and bring such beloved characters into the world. But I have to refine myself, refine my work and control it, which I am not very good at yet. It sounds weird, but I also have to let it free, let the creativity flow through my pen. Yes, I write all my stories, not type them. I have a massive load of journals with unfinished stories. They are unfinished and unread. There was a part in the movie about J.K. Rowling when she was teenager and applying to college, and her friend told her that if she wanted to be a writer she had to let someone read her work and she said no one could read her stuff because she hadn't written anything that came to life yet. That's exactly how I feel. I feel mundane about all my ideas so far. Nothing has really spoken to me...yet. I hope very soon that I can produce something good. Something really good.